美文赏析：TheBestKindofLove

Ihaveafriendwhoisfallinginlove.Shehonestlyclaimstheskyisbluer.Mozartmoveshertotears.Shehaslost15poundsandlookslikeacovergirl.

"Imyoungagain!"sheshoutsexuberantly.

Asmyfriendravesonabouthernewlove,Ivetakenagoodlookatmyoldone.Myhusbandofalmost20years,Scott,hasgained15pounds.Onceamarathonrunner,henowrunsonlydownhospitalhalls.Hishairlineisrecedingandhisbodyshowsthesignsoflongworkinghoursandtoomanycandybars.YethecanstillgivemeacertainlookacrossarestauranttableandIwanttoaskforthecheckandheadhome.

Whenmyfriendaskedme"Whatwillmakethislovelast?"Iranthroughalltheobviousreasons:commitment,sharedinterests,unselfishness,physicalattraction,communication.Yettheresmore.Westillhavefun.Spontaneousgoodtimes.Yesterday,afterslippingtherubberbandofftherolledupnewspaper,Scottflippeditplayfullyatme:thisledtoanall-outwar.LastSaturdayatthegrocery,wesplitthelistandracedeachothertoseewhocouldmakeittothecheckoutfirst.Evenwashingdishescanbeablast.Weenjoysimplybeingtogether.

Andtherearesurprises.OnetimeIcamehometofindanoteonthefrontdoorthatledmetoanothernote,thenanother,untilIreachedthewalk-incloset.IopenedthedoortofindScottholdinga"potofgold"(mycookingkettle)andthe"treasure"ofagiftpackage.SometimesIleavehimnotesonthemirrorandlittlepresentsunderhispillow.

Thereisunderstanding.Iunderstandwhyhemustplaybasketballwiththeguys.Andheunderstandswhy,onceayear,Imustgetawayfromthehouse,thekids—andevenhim-tomeetmysistersforafewdaysofnonstoptalkingandlaughing.

Thereissharing.Notonlydowesharehouseholdworriesandparentalburdens—wealsoshareideas.Scottcamehomefromaconventionlastmonthandpresentedmewithathickhistoricalnovel.Thoughheprefersthrillersandsciencefiction,hehadreadthenovelontheplane.HetouchedmyheartwhenheexplaineditwasbecausehewantedtobeabletoexchangeideasaboutthebookafterIdreadit.

Thereisforgiveness.WhenImembarrassinglyloudandcrazyatparties,Scottforgivesme.Whenheconfessedlosingsomeofoursavingsinthestockmarket,Igavehimahugandsaid,"Itsokay.Itsonlymoney."

Thereissensitivity.Lastweekhewalkedthroughthedoorwiththatlookthattellsmeitsbeenatoughday.Afterhespentsometimewiththekids,Iaskedhimwhathappened.Hetoldmeabouta60-year-oldwomanwhodhadastroke.Heweptasherecalledthewomanshusbandstandingbesideherbed,caressingherhand.Howwashegoingtotellthishusbandof40yearsthathiswifewouldprobablyneverrecover?Ishedafewtearsmyself.Becauseofthemedicalcrisis.Becausetherewerestillpeoplewhohavebeenmarried40years.Becausemyhusbandisstillmovedandconcernedafteryearsofhospitalroomsanddyingpatients.

Thereisfaith.LastTuesdayafriendcameoverandconfessedherfearthatherhusbandislosinghiscourageousbattlewithcancer.OnWednesdayIwenttolunchwithafriendwhoisstrugglingtoreshapeherlifeafterdivorce.OnThursdayaneighborcalledtotalkaboutthefrighteningeffectsofAlzheimersdiseaseonherfather-in-lawspersonality.OnFridayachildhoodfriendcalledlong-distancetotellmeherfatherhaddied.Ihungupthephoneandthought,Thisistoomuchheartacheforoneweek.Throughmytears,asIwentouttorunsomeerrands,Inoticedtheboisterousorangeblossomsofthegladiolusoutsidemywindow.Iheardthedelightedlaughterofmysonandhisfriendastheyplayed.Icaughtsightofaweddingpartyemergingfromaneighborshouse.Thebride,dressedinsatinandlace,tossedherbouquettohercheeringfriends.Thatnight,Itoldmyhusbandabouttheseevents.Wehelpedeachotheracknowledgethecyclesoflifeandthatthejoyscounterthesorrows.Itwasenoughtokeepusgoing.

Finally,thereisknowing.IknowScottwillthrowhislaundryjustshyofthehampereverynight;hellbelatetomostappointmentsandeatthelastchocolateinthebox.HeknowsthatIsleepwithapillowovermyhead;Illlockusoutofthehouseataregularbasis,andIwillalsoeatthelastchocolate.

Iguessourlovelastsbecauseitiscomfortable.No,theskyisnotbluer:itsjustafamiliarhue.Wedontfeelparticularlyyoung:weveexperiencedtoomuchthathascontributedtoourgrowthandwisdom,takingitstollonourbodies,andcreatedourmemories.

Ihopewevegotwhatittakestomakeourlovelast.Asabride,IhadScottsweddingbandengravedwithRobertBrowningsline"Growoldalongwithme!"Werefollowingthoseinstructions.

Ifanythingisreal,theheartwillmakeitplain.